Student Suspended Over Suspected Use of PHP

Topeka, KS – High school sophomore Brett Tyson was suspended today after teachers learned he may be using PHP.

“A teacher overheard him say that he was using PHP, and as part of our Zero-Tolerance policy against drug use, he was immediately suspended. No questions asked,” said Principal Clyde Thurlow. “We’re not quite sure what PHP is, but we suspect it may be a derivative of PCP, or maybe a new designer drug like GHB.”

Parents are frightened by the discovery of this new menace in their children’s school, and are demanding the school do something. “We heard that he found out about PHP at school on the internet. There may even be a PHP web ring operating on school grounds,” said irate parent Carol Blessing. “School is supposed to be teaching our kids how to read and write. Not about dangerous drugs like PHP.”

In response to parental demands the school has reconfigured its internet WatchDog software to block access to all internet sites mentioning PHP. Officials say this should prevent any other students from falling prey like Brett Tyson did. They have also stepped up locker searches and brought in drug sniffing dogs.

Interviews with students suggested that PHP use is wide spread around the school, but is particularly concentrated in the geeky nerd population. When contacted by BBspot.com, Brett Tyson said, “I don’t know what the hell is going on dude, but this suspension gives me more time for fraggin’. Yee haw!”

PHP is a hypertext preprocessor, which sounds very dangerous. It is believed that many users started by using Perl and moved on to the more powerful PHP. For more information on how to recognize if your child may be using PHP please visit http://www.php.net.

(Thanks to Aaron Swartz)

Fresh Spam

In the last few days, I received several copies of this spam:

have visited your site and I think that design looks not good now.

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Target Report

I was at my local Target today and I asked about the iPod. Most of the people had no idea what it is and weren’t aware that they would be selling it.

Oops!

I had a bit of a mishap here with upstreaming from Radio. I’ve turned off updating at my Radio site, but I seem to have some problem posting here with the Manilla-Blogger bridge. I also lost a few of yesterday’s posts here in the process.

Toyota to sell only hybrid

Toyota to sell only hybrid autos by 2012. Toyota, the world’s third-largest automaker, plans to only manufacture gas-electric hybrid cars by 2012. The plan is to decrease the cost of manufacturing hybrid cars by increasing production. I’m sure Mother Nature is breathing a sigh of relief…. [Lockergnome’s Bits and Bytes]

I looked at the Toyota Prius before I bought my 2003 Corolla. The Prius looked nice, but the performance still isn’t as good as the Corolla, plus it costs a lot more and is a bit smaller & less comfortable. I’m confident that by the time Im ready to replace the Corolla, hybrid technology will have advanced to the point where it’s just as good.

I didn't write anything today

I didn’t write anything today because I was busy programming. I’ve fixed many bugs in my preemptive threading code for Mac OS 9 and I’m now actually able to establish a connection. I keep finding places where I need to call a toolbox function with MPRemoteCall, but those are getting easier to find.

Bulls**t Bingo

Bulls**t Bingo

Do you keep falling asleep in meetings and seminars? What about those long and boring conference calls? Here is a way to change all of that!

Before each meeting, visit http://www.perkigoth.com/home/kermit/stuff/bullshitbingo/ and print one copy of this game card for each player, refreshing the page before each print, or have the players print their own game cards.

Check off each block when you hear these words during a meeting, seminar, or phone call. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout BULLS**T!!

conference calls.

Becoming Dynamic

I just did some work on WorldBeatPlanet. I put all of the lyrics into a PHP-Nuke content category and I now have the lyrics page for Youssou N’dour listing the contents of that database. I need to do the same with the other static lyric pages.

I would like to replace as much of the static content as possible with dynamically generated content from the database, so it can be updated easily by multiple authors without having to edit any HTML pages.