General

Urgent assistance! [The Register]

IMMEDIATE ATTENTION NEEDED:

HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL

FROM: GEORGE WALKER BUSH
DEAR SIR / MADAM,

I AM GEORGE WALKER BUSH, SON OF THE FORMER PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA GEORGE HERBERT WALKER BUSH, AND CURRENTLY SERVING AS PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. THIS LETTER MIGHT SURPRISE YOU BECAUSE WE HAVE NOT MET NEITHER IN PERSON NOR BY CORRESPONDENCE. I CAME TO KNOW OF YOU IN MY SEARCH FOR A RELIABLE AND REPUTABLE PERSON TO HANDLE A VERY CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS TRANSACTION, WHICH INVOLVES THE TRANSFER OF A HUGE SUM OF MONEY TO AN ACCOUNT REQUIRING MAXIMUM CONFIDENCE.

I AM WRITING YOU IN ABSOLUTE CONFIDENCE PRIMARILY TO SEEK YOUR ASSISTANCE IN ACQUIRING OIL FUNDS THAT ARE PRESENTLY TRAPPED IN THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ. MY PARTNERS AND I SOLICIT YOUR ASSISTANCE IN COMPLETING A TRANSACTION BEGUN BY MY FATHER, WHO HAS LONG BEEN ACTIVELY ENGAGED IN THE EXTRACTION OF PETROLEUM IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND BRAVELY SERVED HIS COUNTRY AS DIRECTOR OF THE UNITED STATES CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE AGENCY.

IN THE DECADE OF THE NINETEEN-EIGHTIES, MY FATHER, THEN VICE-PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, SOUGHT TO WORK WITH THE GOOD OFFICES OF THE PRESIDENT OF THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ TO REGAIN LOST OIL REVENUE SOURCES IN THE NEIGHBORING ISLAMIC REPUBLIC OF IRAN. THIS UNSUCCESSFUL VENTURE WAS SOON FOLLOWED BY A FALLING OUT WITH HIS IRAQI PARTNER, WHO SOUGHT TO ACQUIRE ADDITIONAL OIL REVENUE SOURCES IN THE NEIGHBORING EMIRATE OF KUWAIT, A WHOLLY-OWNED U.S.-BRITISH SUBSIDIARY.

MY FATHER RE-SECURED THE PETROLEUM ASSETS OF KUWAIT IN 1991 AT A COST OF SIXTY-ONE BILLION U.S. DOLLARS ($61,000,000,000). OUT OF THAT COST.

THIRTY-SIX BILLION DOLLARS ($36,000,000,000) WERE SUPPLIED BY HIS PARTNERS IN THE KINGDOM OF SAUDI ARABIA AND OTHER PERSIAN GULF MONARCHIES, AND SIXTEEN BILLION DOLLARS ($16,000,000,000) BY GERMAN AND JAPANESE PARTNERS.

BUT MY FATHER’S FORMER IRAQI BUSINESS PARTNER REMAINED IN CONTROL OF THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ AND ITS PETROLEUM RESERVES.

MY FAMILY IS CALLING FOR YOUR URGENT ASSISTANCE IN FUNDING THE REMOVAL OF THE PRESIDENT OF THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ AND ACQUIRING THE PETROLEUM ASSETS OF HIS COUNTRY, AS COMPENSATION FOR THE COSTS OF REMOVING HIM FROM POWER.

UNFORTUNATELY, OUR PARTNERS FROM 1991 ARE NOT WILLING TO SHOULDER THE BURDEN OF THIS NEW VENTURE, WHICH IN ITS UPCOMING PHASE MAY COST THE SUM OF 100 BILLION TO 200 BILLION DOLLARS ($100,000,000,000 – $200,000,000,000), BOTH IN THE INITIAL ACQUISITION AND IN LONG-TERM MANAGEMENT.

WITHOUT THE FUNDS FROM OUR 1991 PARTNERS, WE WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO ACQUIRE THE OIL REVENUE TRAPPED WITHIN IRAQ. THAT IS WHY MY FAMILY AND OUR COLLEAGUES ARE URGENTLY SEEKING YOUR GRACIOUS ASSISTANCE. OUR DISTINGUISHED COLLEAGUES IN THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION INCLUDE THE SITTING VICE-PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, RICHARD CHENEY, WHO IS AN ORIGINAL PARTNER IN THE IRAQ VENTURE AND FORMER HEAD OF THE ALLIBURTON OIL COMPANY, AND CONDOLEEZA RICE, WHOSE PROFESSIONAL DEDICATION TO THE VENTURE WAS DEMONSTRATED IN THE NAMING OF A CHEVRON OIL TANKER AFTER HER.

I WOULD BESEECH YOU TO TRANSFER A SUM EQUALING TEN TO TWENTY-FIVE PERCENT (10-25 %) OF YOUR YEARLY INCOME TO OUR ACCOUNT TO AID IN THIS IMPORTANT VENTURE. THE INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA WILL FUNCTION AS OUR TRUSTED INTERMEDIARY. I PROPOSE THAT YOU MAKE THIS TRANSFER BEFORE THE FIFTEENTH (15TH) OF THE MONTH OF APRIL.

I KNOW THAT A TRANSACTION OF THIS MAGNITUDE WOULD MAKE ANYONE APPREHENSIVE AND WORRIED. BUT I AM ASSURING YOU THAT ALL WILL BE WELL AT THE END OF THE DAY. A BOLD STEP TAKEN SHALL NOT BE REGRETTED, I ASSURE YOU. PLEASE DO BE INFORMED THAT THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION IS 100% LEGAL. IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO CO-OPERATE IN THIS TRANSACTION, PLEASE CONTACT OUR INTERMEDIARY REPRESENTATIVES TO FURTHER DISCUSS THE MATTER.

I PRAY THAT YOU UNDERSTAND OUR PLIGHT. MY FAMILY AND OUR COLLEAGUES WILL BE FOREVER GRATEFUL. PLEASE REPLY IN STRICT CONFIDENCE TO THE CONTACT NUMBERS BELOW.

SINCERELY WITH WARM REGARDS,

GEORGE WALKER BUSH

Switchboard: 202.456.1414 Comments: 202.456.1111 Fax: 202.456.2461 Email:
president@whitehouse.gov —

The same buzzards I saw yesterday are still sitting in the same spot. Someone told me he saw 30 of them earlier today. He thinks the unusually cold weather killed some of the huge iguanas that live on the island, so they’re feeding on it.

Hixie writes: We can sit here and argue about semantics and CSS19 and who knows what until we’re blue in the face, but at the end of the day, standards are a ridiculous waste of time. There is only one standard, and it’s whatever Internet Explorer supports. I am currently working on a redesign of my blog geared toward IE users, although it might work in non-standard browsers like Mozilla, too. Maybe I’m biased because Microsoft just hired me, but I think I’m just grounded in reality…

This represents a significant about-face from someone who has traditionally been a backer of standards and has always been morally opposed to Microsoft. I guess at the end of the day, money talks loudest. ‘Tis a sad, sad day indeed… [ramblings of an 8 year-old]

I just disabled all email at worldbeatplanet.com – ANY email sent to that domain will now bounce. I’m really disgusted with all of the spam I receive there and I can’t wait to shut down that site, which is just a waste of my time.

I’m getting REALLY sick of it. I hate email.

I called my former employer about my final paycheck, which bounced. Nobody answered and they still have their Christmas message on the answering machine.

Cody loves paper & cellophane. When I got a CD the other day he jumped in my lap as I was unwrapping it and kept trying to play with the cellophane. Before I could get it away from him, he ate a narrow strip of cellophane.

Read more

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE…. [ramblings of an 8 year-old]

Bank of America ATMs Disrupted by Virus (TechNews.com) [Daypop Top 40]

This probably explains why Publix wasn’t able to accept Bank of America ATM cards yesterday, although I was able to use my card at the ATM just outside the store.

7AM Pacific. Just heard a report on NPR that some kind of Internet-wide denial of service attack is underway. They quote Microsoft saying it’s serious. If you have more information on what’s going on, esp Web pages I can point to, please post a comment on my Radio weblog. Thanks. [Scripting News]

More information here:

Oliver Friedrichs, a senior manager with Symantec, said the “SQL” worm was taking advantage of a vulnerability detected six months ago in Microsoft sequel servers, used mainly by companies to store information.

Friedrichs said businesses, rather than home users, would be affected by the worm, which was similar but not as serious as the “Code Red” worm. Code Red swept through hundreds of thousands of computers in a single day in July 2001.

Yet another reason to avoid Microsoft SQL Server and use MySQL.

The Most Challenged Books of 2002

“Harry Potter series tops list of most challenged books four years in a row…. The ALA Office for Intellectual Freedom received a total of 515 reports of challenges last year, a 15 percent increase since 2001….

The ‘Ten Most Challenged Books of 2002’ reflect a wide variety of themes. The books, in order of most frequently challenged are:

• Harry Potter series, by J.K. Rowling, for its focus on wizardry and magic.
• Alice series, by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor, for being sexually explicit, using offensive language and being unsuited to age group.
• “The Chocolate War” by Robert Cormier (the “Most Challenged” book of 1998), for using offensive language and being unsuited to age group.
• “I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings” by Maya Angelou, for sexual content, racism, offensive language, violence and being unsuited to age group.
• “Taming the Star Runner” by S.E. Hinton, for offensive language.
• “Captain Underpants” by Dav Pilkey, for insensitivity and being unsuited to age group, as well as encouraging children to disobey authority.
• “The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn” by Mark Twain, for racism, insensitivity and offensive language.
• “Bridge to Terabithia” by Katherine Paterson, for offensive language, sexual content and Occult/Satanism.
• “Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry” by Mildred D. Taylor, for insensitivity, racism and offensive language.
• “Julie of the Wolves” by Julie Craighead George, for sexual content, offensive language, violence and being unsuited to age group.” [ALA, via The ResourceShelf

[The Shifted Librarian]

I had wanted to pre-order copies of the new Harry Potter book from Amazon for the libraries at Derek & Alex’s facilities, but their grandmother, a devout Christian, doesn’t want them reading those books. The boys have MUCH worse problems than Harry Potter!